Battle Creek Area Mathematics and Science Center: Class of 2k12
GPA: ¯\_(*-*)_/¯ I got into U of M so it couldn’t have been that bad
I went to this specialty school for a half day through high school because I was a prodigy. Shout out to Kellogg’s for funding my high school education
University of Michigan: Class of 2k16
B.S. in a bunch of words that basically mean climate science
GPA: I’d rather not say. I was on academic probation for a while
I was in the marching band for a bit, but then my body fell apart so that didn’t last long. I did get paid to play trumpet at basketball games sometimes though. My department was tiny and that was pretty fun.
None.
EPA sort of, but not really because I was actually a grantee: November 2016 – October 2018
I did modeling for the EPA SmartWay program. It was a good gig because I had three monitors and a powerful computer. I sat far away from my coworkers and nobody bothered me. I often got angry at people who didn’t have a good job so I made a group chat about it.
EPA actually, as a federal employee: October 2018 – Present
I do other modeling with three different monitors and a different powerful computer. The group chat is the same. I still have my ranting group chat, but I do less ranting and my friends do more. Had a short stint on the Party Planning Committee. I get called in when MOVES doesn’t … uh … move.
Michigan Drum Corps Scholarship Fund: 2019 – Present
Cofounded a nonprofit to support a community and activity that means a lot to me. We awarded our first major round of scholarships for the 2020 not-season.
Environments: Windows (unfortunately), Linux, MacOS
Languages: Go, SQL, Python (kinda), Java (kinda), R, MATLAB, English, French
Skilled in R, MATLAB, Go, MySQL
Floor Hockey Sportmanship Award: 3rd Grade
We didn’t win a single game but at least we were good sports about it
Eagle Scout: March 2012
Led a team of volunteers in building a memorial garden next to a memorial wall for people to meet their future pets at the local animal shelters. Secured material donations from local businesses.
SmartWay Awards Super Statistical Helper: April 2017
They gave me this because I’m a millennial and it’d been a while since I was given an “everybody gets a trophy” award
Hot Air Balloonist: 1996 – Present
Crew with pilots in local competitions. Officiated at 2011 National Hot Air Ballooning Championships and 2012 FAI Hot Air Balloon World Championships. Sister and mother own hot air balloons. Maybe I will too someday.
Drum and Bugle Corps: 2009, 2010, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015
Sucked at everything – 2009
Trumpet Section Leader – kinda 2013 (long story), 2014, 2015
Horn Sergeant – 2015
High School Marching Band Technician: 2015 – Present
I was awful at band, so it’s a good thing the students have me around to tell them how to be bad.
Curling: 2016 – Present
I like to zoom around on the slider. I’ve won wine at tournaments before, but it wasn’t for being good at curling
Alex Murray’s identical twin, and his elder by 2 minutes
One time, I was about to drop my phone down a flight of stairs, but I tried to catch it, but dropped it down 3 flights instead
Another time, I broke a coffee pot at an airbnb and sliced my finger open. It bled for a long time but things are fine now.
I survived the #Great Government Shutdown of 2018-2019
I made a package that connects Go to R via C without actually learning C
I don’t like Hadley Wickham
Personal
Alex Murray: We’ve known each other our whole lives
Dr. Erin N. Graham: She’s dating me, and the smart one in the relationship
Professional
President Joseph R. Biden: My boss’s boss’s boss’s boss’s boss’s boss
President Donald J. Trump: My boss’s boss’s boss’s former boss’s former boss’s former boss
Golang Gopher: He sits at my desk and debugs my code for me
Let’s be honest. If you’ve read this far, you know there is no good reason to want to work with me. In case you’re a masochist, I can be reached via reddit (u/overthinkDCIscores), Github (EMurray16), or email at evan.habsfan@gmail.com. You can also find me bumming around the Kalamazoo Curling Club from time to time if you’re into that sort of thing.